When Your Boss has a Favourite and it's Not You

Favourites in the workplace can be really annoying – if you are the favourite, it can make you unpopular with your colleagues and if you are not the favourite, you feel left out and as though your hard work is not recognised.

While it would be better if bosses did not have favourites, they do, so it is a good idea for us to look at how to handle the situation when you are not the favourite.

Are you Resentful?

Firstly, are you resentful of the fact that some else is getting the attention? Have you actually thought about whether they deserve it? It may be that your colleague that is the favourite works far harder than you and achieves more for the company. That is not to say that it is acceptable to have favourites, but it can be hard not to if you have a particularly high achiever in your team.

Are They Two Faced?

Secondly, do you feel as though they push other people aside to get ahead? The favourite may be very friendly and helpful to the boss but not so nice to their colleagues. This type of person will do anything to get ahead and your boss may have been blinded by their charms. This is likely to be temporary, as they will either get bored and move on to bigger and better things or their guard will drop.

A Personal Relationship?

Thirdly, is there a personal situation involved? Perhaps the boss and his favourite are having an affair or they may be old friends. Either way, a personal relationship can affect how others see them – it is not professional on either side.

You may feel as though you would like some advice in this situation – if you speak to another colleague or HR, be prepared for the outcome – they are likely to know about whatever relationship there is, but you may look like a busybody or someone who cannot concentrate on their own work.

Why does it Bother You?

Next, is it actually affecting you? If you are bored and unchallenged at work, or simply not putting much effort in, it is easy to get bothered by other people. Essentially, the boss having a favourite is nothing to do with you.

It is important that you work out why the situation is bothering you and then you will be able to do something about it, even if that is just to decide to stop letting it bother you. This may be a sign that you ought to start looking for another job, or that you have not been performing in your own job to the best of your abilities.

Don’t forget that there are good bosses and bad bosses, too. A boss that has a favourite may not be the type of person you want to work for. If they are unable to separate their personal and professional relationships, it is possible that your achievements may go unrecognised or that there are mistakes being made higher up in the company.

Sometimes we have these wake up calls that tell us we can make a choice – continue to feel the way we do and do nothing about it, except keep complaining, or decide to make a change and be the masters of our own destiny.